Run, master! I’ll hold the terrible plot off, and maybe you can find a better show to be in!

A mysterious big black ominous bubble appears in the sky that proceeds to unleash a host of monsters about the place, which kill a bunch of people and cause mayhem. 3 years later, there are now children who can use these creatures, called Z/X (pronounced Zex and short for Zillions of enemy X, whatever the hell that means) to fight for them using magical mystical artifacts that look suspiciously like trading cards. One teenager, Tennouji Asuka, is tasked with saving this world with the help of an angel Z/X from the dastardlOk I give up the real synopsis is BUY THE TRADING CARDS BUY THE TRADING CARDS BUY THE TRADING CARDS.

Digimooon, digital monsters digimon are the …no?

There are approximately two decent things about Z/X Ingition.
1) Tennouji Asuka is really damn cute. You know how sometimes you see a really crappy movie and it has a good actor in it and you’re all ‘what is he/she doing in this?’ That’s what I think about Asuka. Seriously, what is he doing in this?
2) It’s set in Kobe, which is kind of neat because I’ve never seen an anime set in Kobe before. It’s also artistically accurate to the locations in Kobe.
That’s really it though, because the rest is a super hokey cheesefest that doesn’t even really work as a commercial for the card game it’s based on, it’s that bad. Who is this show even aimed at? There’s a lot of cute moe girls but the plot is incredibly juvenile, not to mention nonsensical. The beginning of the episode shows the Z/X as terrible creatures that killed everyone, but 3 years later a bunch of teenagers are using them like Digimon. Why? How? Who cares, the writers don’t even dwell on it, they’re far more interested in having the characters spout off ridiculously ham-fisted lines like ‘THE WHITE WORLD ABANDONED THIS TOWN’ and ‘HER POWER MATCHES THAT OF THE TWELVE APOSTLES!’ as though we’re supposed to know what the hell that means (even theĀ characters don’t seem to know though) or as though the mystery of the meaning of such things makes it interesting. All the while, it’s taking itself ridiculously seriously, and seeing all these characters speaking about and handling goddamn collectable trading cards like they’re holy artifacts is honestly hilarious to me.
I guess at the end of the day if it’s just an extended commercial for a card game it could still be called a success if it actually made me want to play that card game. It doesn’t, so it fails even at that.

Seriously, look at him with his cute scarf. Get him out of here.

Out of 5,