Due to some internet problems, Junko’s next reviews will be a bit late – there are at least 2 more First Impressions and maybe the second episode of one of the shows if they intend to blog anything.

Anyway, time to get this over and done with.

Crappy light novel school comedies – now with bonus gay-panic homophobia!

One day the generic protagonist Kimito is kidnapped from his regular generic school by a bunch of muscle-bound gay caricatures and dropped off at a super fancy, super elite and apparently super hidden private school. It’s a girls only school that aims to raise the daughters of nobles into ‘perfect ladies’, but it has recently come to the school boards attention that graduates from this school have a hard time getting used to the drastically different outside world amongst the common-folk. The answer to this problem was also the reason Kimito was kidnapped – he is put in the school as a ‘commoner sample’ for all the girls to become accustomed to. The reason they chose Kimito was that he was suitably generic, but they also believe he poses no danger to the girls due to mistakenly believing him to be Super Ultra Gay and having a muscle fetish. When they find out that this may not be true, they warn him that if he is actually sexually interested in girls then he would either be exiled to the middle of nowhere so that the for-some-reason-really-important secret of the school’s existence can be kept, or he would be castrated…so he decides to keep on pretending that he actually is Super Ultra Gay.
Once at the school the girls fawn and crowd around him, being amazed at ‘commoner’ things like cell phones (because apparently being rich and elite means living in the Victorian era, or it would if these girls vacuum-sealed tit-sock uniform dresses had skirts longer than the bare minimum to conceal their pubic regions). Apparently knowing about ‘commoner’ things is super cool and trendy, so one of the girls asks Kimito to teach her how to be a commoner so that she can be the most popular girl in class.

That’s some wonky art.

It took me a while to just suck it up and watch this show, because I wasn’t looking forward to it at all. I could tell how dreadful and light novely bullshit it was going to be from the title, the girl’s uniforms (the tit socks. Always with the tit socks) and the fact that the key art features what looks like a 5-year-old pulling up her skirt. Luckily this 5-year-old wasn’t present in this episode, which made it about a thousand times less soul-crushing than it would be otherwise. However, I feel like this is something that, at this point in time, and having reviewed so many shitty anime on this blog, I do not even need to bother reviewing, because that synopsis above pretty much describes exaxctly why this show is awful. The only thing the synopsis doesn’t reveal is that the animation is ludicrously bad, especially for a first episode, with several still frames looking like bad in-between frames, and attempts at dynamic animation looking awkward and weird as though the animators have no idea how the human body moves. Even the opening looks like crap.
So instead of an actual review I am just going to provide this list of things that are unpleasant, but still preferable to watching Ore ga Ojousama Gakkou ni ‘Shomin Sample’ Toshite Gets♥ Sareta Ken:

-stepping on something wet with socks on
-your cat vomitting on your bed
-spending a long time waiting in the line of a fast food restaurant only to get to the counter and find out they are out of the specific menu item that you came for in the first place
-those commercials on youtube that force you to watch at least 10 seconds before you’re allowed to skip them
-when you are on public transport and a 5-year-old suddenly lets lose a piercing, single note scream for no reason whateover
-movie popcorn that tastes like it was made the day previously
-spending a long time on a drawing in your digital art program of choice and then realizing you were drawing on the wrong layer this whole time
– really wanting a sandwhich but discovering that mould has grown on the bread when you open it
-how gross and rubbery carrot sticks become if you leave them in the fridge for too long
-some of the other bad shows I’ve watched this season but, actually, not all of them.

seriously at least try to come up with a uniform that looks like it would be at a posh girls school and not a porno

Out of 5,
melon and that’s only because I actually did kind of laugh at one of the girls putting Kimito’s phone in an elaborate gift box with a hand-written letter in order to merely hand it back to him after looking at it, which is slightly more that can be said for the other Bad Light Novel Anime I saw this season. That’s it.

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