A First Impression: Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid Episode 1

Be sure to scroll down to check out all the new stuff, ’cause I ended up doing a lot of reviews today.

*aggressively does not care*


Mamori is a young high school girl with a mysterious condition. She one day gets kidnapped and sent (via torpedo) to a strange island. Once there, she meets with some hostile people–two young women, and one of them is able to transform into a gun?! Before Mamori gets injured, she is saved by a stoic young woman named Mirei, who had also been sent via torpedo. The two quickly manage to bond and Mamori transforms… into a sword.

what the hell is this

Mirei then defeats the two women easily, and Mirei and Mamori make their way to the center of the island. There, they find a castle, which is actually some sort of super secret, super special school. Once inside, they are challenged to a fight with another weapon/weapon user duo. However, Mirei (using Mamori as her sword once again) manages to defeat them.

What the hell is THIS?
Mamori’s personality and design annoys me. :/

My Opinion:

Never before has an anime made me feel so dirty. I feel like the creation of this anime went something like this: “Hey, Utena’s a really good series, so why don’t we take that, remove everything that made it good, and stuff it chock full of boob shots and butt shots? Oh, and also, instead of pulling a sword out of a girl, why don’t we have her TURN INTO a sword? Oh, and also, she needs to be turned on to transform. We have a fanservice quota we need to meet to sell figures.”

Look, I don’t have anything against yuri anime, I just have a beef against anime that is blatantly catering to heterosexual male boners. The relationship between Mamori and Mirei could actually be pretty neat, if it weren’t for the copious amounts of FANSERVICE everywhere. And OF COURSE the girls have to be turned on to transform. The first duo that Mamori and Mirei encountered was uncomfortable, but the second one was EVEN WORSE. The second duo has an S&M relationship and it’s just… not great.

The animation isn’t that bad I suppose, but of course all the budget went towards animating boobies (BOOBS DON’T JIGGLE LIKE JELLO JFC) and highly detailed nipples. Yes, this anime is not shy about showing nipples. I think it’s obvious but this anime is not at all work safe to watch. Other than that, Mirei’s design is pretty cool, but Mamori’s design is really bad. As are all the other characters’ designs.

Overall… do I need to say anything else other than that this anime is a borderline porno? Other than that, the characters are all bland save for Mirei, and Mamori is just annoying. Also, the fact that her family name can be read as “virgin” is apparently super funny to everyone? Whatever.

Out of five:

Nothing. I’m sorry, I’m done.

Mirei is too cool of a character to be in an anime as awful as this

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