what crappy mid-noughties how to draw manga book did you guys crawl out of

Our Spunky Protag really loves gems…really, really loves gems. Looking at gems seems to be his only hobby. One thing he enjoys about looking at gems, is that when you look deeply into them it’s like there’s a whole world inside it, and you might get sucked in, which he admits to wishing would happen. Spoiler: this happens and the whole time he’s really confused about it like a dumbass and never makes the connection even though he had just been looking at a gem in his father’s lab that had been kept in  special glass cabinet and it had started glowing and very obviously got sucked inside it.

The world he ends up in is called Endora, where a prince named Emilio’s angst over some evil guy stealing the throne. Gem-dude (I honestly cant remember if his name was ever said in this episode but I dont remember it being) manages to bust Emilio out of the dungeon he’d been put in for attempting to kill the king, and now the two of them are on the run. Some very boring fights ensue, making use of weapons that appear from their bodies called ‘warp replics’. The whole time, Gem-dude has no idea what’s going on but Emilio believes he is one of the people from ‘the surface’.

balls to the wall excitement

Holy shit is this one ugly show. It’s not so much the art or animation – although it’s incredibly bland and the characters all look like they’re from some ‘how to draw fantasy manga’ book from 2005 – those, on their own, wouldn’t be so bad. It’s the absolutely terrible overly-saturated puke-coloured backgrounds that make this look so bad. Look, whoever was in charge of the art direction of this show: put down the fuchsia. You cant slap fuchsia over goddamn everything. There’s so much eye burning fuschia absolutely everywhere, and blended in painful combinations with other colours, that it has this incredibly nausiating effect.  I imagine if the sensation of nausea looked like something visually, it would be these backgrounds.

Although fuchsia is the main offender of the crime of eye-burning in this episode, the episode actually begins with the world’s most hideous green light saturating everything. I have no idea what this is, because the gem that bought gem-dude (seriously, did he have a name…?) to Endora was blue, and Endora is a very…purple place. But that scene, which not only made no sense to me, caused the very first note I took to be ‘wow this show is hideous’ which kind of set the tone for the rest of it.

I will admit, even if it was a little bit corny, when Gem-dude was talking about feeling like there were entire worlds inside the gems – even though I knew it was just a way for the show to be all ‘little does he know, THERE ARE!’, I kinda liked it because I actually used to think that when I was a kid. I kind of feel like someone just looked at a gem and thought that and then decided to for some reason base an entire bland story around the concept.

I also feel like there’s a chance they’re going to try to go for a fujoshi audience by having gem-dude and the prince get chummier and chummier, but other than that it’s pretty stock-standard forgettable paint by numbers fantasy anime that doesn’t even really try to be original or engaging in any way, shape or form. Next.

Seriously what are these character and monster designs, clipart?

Out of 5,