At least they’re honest about being lazy?


The seal created by the Goddess Amaterasu was broken, releasing massive demonic monsters called “Kamikui” into the world. These monsters are fought by a group of girls in highly impractical clothing, as well as one guy, who speaks in text boxes because they couldn’t be bothered to find a non-female voice actor. During a fight with a Kamikui, two of the girls, Yoshitsune and Shizuka, are blown away by a powerful attack into what is either another country or another area of Japan (it’s not quite clear). They see Kamikui there too, and proceed to attack when….a mysterious voices announces that “their accounts are suspended”.

Well. Okay.

So funny. Not.

Onigiri is a three and a half minute anime based on a MMORPG. Three and a half minute anime are rarely good, and anime based on things that are difficult to make into anime (cell phone games, MMO) are rarely good. Watching this, I got war flashbacks to Vampire Holmes.

Except, I was in for a surprise. And not in the good way.

I think…I think this may be lazier than Vampire Holmes.

That’s not because the animation is terrible. It’s honestly decent, if a little eye-blindingly colorful. No, the reason why it may be a shoe-in for this year’s Worst Adaptation award is….absolutely zero effort was made to differentiate it from the game at all.

WHY DID THIS IMAGE HAVE TO ENTER MY RETINAS TODAY

I mean this literally. There was a fight scene, with HP bars and damage counters on screen. There was Jin literally speaking in textboxes. There was nothing remotely resembling a plot or even a plot hook, unless you count Yoshitsune and Shizuka’s ‘accounts being suspended’ at the end, whatever that was.

Also, every single character looks like “baby’s first anime OC”. Seriously. The entire reason I did this First Impression is to show off pictures of how terribly ridiculous all these characters look. THERE IS A CAT GIRL WITH TWO TONE HAIR.

The Internet tells me the game this is based on is highly rated. So if Onigiri interests you, just go play the game instead. Save three and a half minutes of your life. Don’t watch this.

One Dio, because the designs, while terrible, did make me laugh.

dio

NO THANK YOU PLEASE TRY AGAIN

HOLY TOO MANY PATTERNS ON THAT OUTFIT BATMAN

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