Welcome to the new year of First Impressions, everybody! I do have a quick announcement – Moe is currently without Internet, so some of those Impressions may be delayed. With that said, let’s see what kind of anime 2017 has in store for us!

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Oh, wait, really? We’re starting the new year with THIS guy?

The titular Masamune is a boy whose hobbies include working out, posing in front of the mirror, and chastising his weirdly young-looking sister and younger-looking mother for their eating habits. He has recently transferred to a new school, where his looks earn him massive popularity despite his fondness for staring at girls’ chests and butts.

Also attending the school is Aki, a rich girl who is popular despite her terrible attitude. When a student confesses to her, she publicly announces all of his secrets and saddles him with an embarrassing nickname, destroying his reputation. For some reason, this makes Masamune interested in her.

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Pictured above: terrible advice for children

During his school day, Masamune meets the large-chested class rep, Aki’s shy maid, and a kind sweets loving-boy named Kojuuro. Upon learning from Kojuuro that Aki always eats lunch alone, he stalks her and learns that this is because she enjoys eating cheap, high-calorie meals from convenience stores. After this discovery, Aki starts actually spending time with Masamune to ensure he doesn’t share her secret, earning Masamune the jealousy of many other boys.

Masamune saves Aki from a rejected suitor who tries to cut off her hair. Despite his otherwise crappy behavior, this seems to make her start to fall for him. However, this is all revealed to be part of Masamune’s plan. He and Aki were acquaintances when younger, and she rejected his feelings because of his weight, motivating him to get into shape. He is getting closer to Aki now not out of any genuine feelings, but to fulfill his strange idea of revenge.

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Man Aki is a jerk but she’s a jerk with great hair

Masamune-kun’s Revenge is what happens when the machine that mass-produces nearly identical harem anime malfunctions, accidentally giving the protagonist and lead girl a double helping of “Horrible Person,” forgetting to give any defining personality or quirk to any of the other characters, and making the obligatory “girl who looks like she should be in elementary school” trait to the protagonist’s MOM. Add to that a high school that’s even less realistic than usual and tons of weirdly shame-y conversations about food and calories, and you have a recipe for an utterly awful show.

Let’s start with Masamune. He’s utterly unlikeable, and yet we’re somehow still supposed to believe he’s wildly popular. His ‘revenge’ scheme also cements him as dumb even for a harem protagonist – yes, let’s make this girl I supposedly hate my girlfriend, meaning I have to spend massive amounts of time around her. Because that makes so much sense! And then there’s Aki, the walking collection of exaggerated “anime rich girl” stereotypes who is supposedly oh-so-different from every other girl because…..she likes food. And has to eat a lot. Right. None of the other girls made enough of an impact in this episode for me to even be able to think of anything to say about them.

The only positives of this show are Kojuuro, who has a cute design and gentle personality and deserves a much better show than this, and the pretty instrumental background music that played during some of the calmer scenes.

Out of 5 Dios:

dio

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Come on, Kojuuro. Let’s find you a better anime to be in.

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